This Story Is “Short and Sweet”…
In July, a fast-food chain had a promotional deal on ice
cream cones for 50 cents. Frugal is my middle name, so on vacation, we stopped
to take advantage of the discounted dessert. There were five of us in the van,
and two had decided to get sundaes. My husband ordered, and we drove around to
the window. A young man was standing at the window, and a young lady was
standing behind him with two generous ice cream cones. As they were handed to
my husband, we passed back one of the cones, and I kept the other. Next, the
two sundaes came. Inside the cups was also a very generous portion of ice
cream, to wit my husband commented, “Wow, I should have gotten one of those!”
Now everybody knows that everyone who is waiting to receive ice
cream will look at the size of each portion as it comes through the drive thru
window. Everyone secretly hopes for the largest ice cream…right? I am sure that
my husband was anxiously awaiting the biggest cone of all.
We sat for a moment, and my husband said to the young man,
“We ordered one more cone.” Quickly, he left his post to prepare the treat.
When the young man returned, in his hand was the smallest ice cream cone of
all. Hesitantly, my husband took his cone…with an unbelieving, disappointed look
on his face. The young man was smiling like a Cheshire cat as we laughed
uncontrollably. Slowly, he left the drive thru, udderly speechless. I continued
to laugh, as I offered to trade with him, but he declined, accepting his fate.
I wish
that we had taken a picture of the ice cream. Better yet, I wonder if there was
a video camera at that drive thru window that may have “captured the
moment”…the looks on everyone’s faces? Lol!
For several miles, we continued to laugh as we recalled the
young man’s grin and my husband’s look of disappointment. Every time we would
gain composure, someone would make a remark or giggle and we would erupt into
riotous laughter again.
One of the funniest remarks was made by my husband made
shortly after we left the drive thru. “He had better be glad that I don’t drink
anymore, because if I had been drunk and he handed me that ice cream, I would
have pulled him through that window and slapped that grin off his face,” he
said. Of course, those were just words, but the mental picture of that
cartoon-like scenario tickled me.
Although my husband may have felt “cheated” where the ice
cream was concerned, our family gained a memory and laughter that is priceless.
These are the good times that will be valued and shared for years to come. This
is a story that will be retold, holding countless laughs for us to enjoy for
the rest of our lives. This “short and sweet” story will not soon be forgotten…
I guess that you just had to be there...
My 12 year-old daughter and I went with my father on a trip to visit my sister. He is 76 now, and he drove.
Towards the end of the trip, he was finally able to express himself...
"You're not ever quiet," he told Alayna. "I need to be quiet when I drive. If I talk, I could mess up and have a wreck. I've talked to you more than I have talked to your Nana on our last six trips combined! You need to know that your Papa is like a Greyhound Bus driver."
This was me... :o) Yep, you just had to be there to get it...
I've been laundering money...
Silly Cat
THE NAME GAME
Well, the older you get, the more laughs are in store...
"Vera Bradley" purses, backpacks, lunchboxes, wallets, and other stuff like that has been popular for a couple of years. My little girl, Alayna, received a Vera Bradley lunchbox from one of her aunts last year. She also has a red lunchbox with the school mascot on it, and we use them alternately.
The other day, she left her red lunchbox at school, and as I prepared her lunch, I could not find either of them.
"Where is your lunchbox?" I asked.
"Which one, the red one?" she asked.
"No. I know that you left that one at school. The other one..." I replied. I struggled a bit to think of the name, and I just could not think of it. Then, all of a sudden, I thought I had it..."The Molly Hatchet lunchbox!" I replied. My husband looked at me curiously....All I can do is laugh! (o:
(You can only appreciate this if you are about my age...)
"Where is your lunchbox?" I asked.
"Which one, the red one?" she asked.
"No. I know that you left that one at school. The other one..." I replied. I struggled a bit to think of the name, and I just could not think of it. Then, all of a sudden, I thought I had it..."The Molly Hatchet lunchbox!" I replied. My husband looked at me curiously....All I can do is laugh! (o:
(You can only appreciate this if you are about my age...)
A Weighty Subject!
I live down South where the land is flat.
Where gettin' on the scales makes me feel fat…
‘Cause I’m near the earth’s center of gravity,
and the weight of the world is pullin’ on me!
That’s why I love the mountains plenty…
When I go up there, I feel more skinny!
The scales don’t show, but I feel blessed…
‘Cause the pull of gravity is less!
(o;
Angie
Dirty Bird!
My husband planted peas in his garden. We have been so blessed to have a good crop coming along, especially since there was so little rain after they were planted.
In the past week, God has sent some showers and the peas are starting to come off. Yesterday, when Al came in from picking the garden, he took off his shoes just inside of the back door. This morning, when he put them back on, he left a deposit…it has been a while since we had enough rain to cause dirt to pack into the bottom of shoes!
The shape of the dirt on the floor reminded me of a bird’s foot... LOL!
then this silly little ditty came into my head….
Dirty Bird
A dirty bird came in my house
And left a little clue
About the weather…rain had come,
And dirt was on his shoe.
See the footprint? He stepped right there...
And left dirt on the floor
Now I must come sweep it up
It’s right at my back door!
Thank You, Lord, for the rain!
Now please send me a mat
To put in front of my back door
Right where that footprint’s at!
by
Angie Usher
Let's Make S'Mores!
Has anyone noticed the GIANT marshmellows that stores are carrying? I guess they're just growing them that way now...I came across this field outside of Athens, GA... (o;
Kitty Fisher
Caught my little kitty wishin'
And thinkin' of a’goin' fishin'.
He forgot to bring a line and pole,
So dipped his paw in the toilet bowl!
It wasn't what he had in mind
‘Cause not one fish did he find!
Oh my little poor, poor kitty
Sitting there so fluff and pretty!
I'll go and get a can of fish
So you can have your favorite dish!
Now come down off the toilet seat
Wipe it off, keep it neat!
Look once more and don't forget
There hasn't been a fish there yet!
Angie Usher
A BAD HAIR DAY
Today, my hair took a shaggy notion As if under the spell of some “bad hair” potion. I think I just need a perm and a cut. I really resemble some shaggy stray mutt! Yesterday, it flipped and flopped and went flat. Last week, it was frizzy and I wore a hat. I’ve tried gel and mousse, conditioners and spray, I’ve teased it and trained it…it’s still fly-away! Forgive my appearance…I’m not starting a trend. This is what happens to hair with dead ends! So I’m calling the beauty shop, and what will I say? “My hair’s had a bad week…not just one bad day! Please make my appointment as soon as you can I really don’t know how much more I can stand! This morning, my husband whistled at me, Called out the dog’s name and patted his knee… ‘Come on now boy, get outta my bed… You know you belong outside in the shed!’” That was the last straw! I can’t stand one more day… Please make my appointment right now, right away!
Angie Usher
I have a page on the website that is called "Light Reading". I have decided place these same posts on this blog so ya'll (yeah, I am from the South) can get an occasional laugh.
Sometimes I will get silly, quirky, or WAY OUT THERE...but come with me...LAUGH! Sometimes, when I get silly at home, my husband is not always amused. He will say, "Go call your sister." Yeah, she will laugh with me...you ladies know what I mean!
Well, here goes....This is about "Black Friday," the day after Thanksgiving when everyone goes shopping for the specially priced items for Christmas! Ain't been and don't wanna go...but here's the scoop based on what I have heard and observed....
The Truth and Consequences of Black Fridays Past
The day before Thanksgiving…all the stores’ lighting gray,
Brought thoughts of the coming year’s Blackest Friday.
The sidewalks were strewn…people waiting in line.
But for the great deals, they sure didn’t mind!
Some were willing to wait…so ready and able
To spend a year’s savings, leave their Thanksgiving tables!
As the evening progressed, excitement was growing
With sales papers a-rattling and “getting ready to go”-ing.
That night, there was no rest…for not many would stay…
No one wanted to miss the great deals of the day!
So early they rose and early they shopped.
All day they would go…until tired, they just dropped.
And remembering the shoving, the pushing and waiting,
It made them think twice, and they started debating
About whether they would go again the next year
Getting up to go early and get it in gear…
Just to save a few dollars…because many have found
If they’ll look for sales, there are good deals year-round!
It was just a mess…the frenzy, the madness
To try to save money getting holiday gladness!
And when it was over, there had been money spent
On things that were tempting…you had not saved a cent!
And you ate out as well…twice, to be exact.
And when you were hungry, you bought you a snack
On top of that big hearty Thanksgiving meal
That made the scales bow and its hand spin a wheel!
Then you needed clothes…“That would slim and would fit,”
So you spent a few bucks on yourself, you’ll admit.
When your throat became dry and thirst…yes, it came…
You bought a few drinks…no one was to blame.
Then all of a sudden, your money was spent!
Your purse was well-worn and it had a big dent!
So then, you shopped for a bag and some shoes
“For my tired, aching feet,” was your excuse.
And when you got home, you crashed among bags.
Your hair was a mess and you looked like a hag!
“This hair must look better for the holiday season…”
An appointment on Monday was made for that reason.
You also spared time for your nails and your feet.
The money you saved could afford you a “treat”!
But since you had spent nearly all of your cash,
You looked for a card in your credit card stash
That had not reached its limit…and began to reason,
“It’s only this once…It’s the holiday season!”
With the hairdo and nails done…since you were out,
You decided to shop and go all about…
And look for the gifts that you did not buy.
When you finished the day, you sat down and sighed.
As you looked at the bags and thought what to do,
You needed some paper and tape and tags, too!
So Tuesday…another day spent on the road…
You came home with a trunk that was filled with a load.
You found such great deals…it was ever so hard
To leave them behind…so you maxed out your card!
Then Christmas was over… reality set in.
The payment on cards was about to begin.
You went to the mailbox and the bills that were there
Were humongous, so huge that you pulled out your hair!
When you did, a nail broke...you ruined your hairdo!
So you bought you a wig…just to help see you through
A whole year of new hair growth,‘til again…it came here…
“Black Friday”, they call it… the deals of the year!
By
Angie Usher
